6 MONTHS POST-OP - PARTNERSHIP N GAY SEX

Right, so am back after a short period of standby - living - after several months away and separated from my present partner since pre-op last year -

Not sure how we managed that one but fact is that we've stuck together , regardless of the distance and unplanned events, added to the surgery that came after and w/th which I definitely needed to deal by myself.

I'd invited him on the 2nd week of my stay in belgrade, on immediate post-op mode, and he was awesome taking it all in , got to meet Miro and her assistant, and even helped to change donor site's bandages - We'd lived and travel together prior to the surgery but I was finding it really difficult to actually share the same space , considering the distance I'd already taken from my body long before i met him. I made a point not putting that aspect of myself too central as long as we were together but had to give it a break at one point so i could focus and deal w/th my own physical issues without the pressure or daily effort that comes w/th keeping up a close partnership.

There is no major difference in the way we relate to each other now that I've had phallo, except maybe that I can now appreciate the idea of sharing the same space, and that i can wake up with the tranquille reassurance of having achieved what had become the number one priority in my life.

Change of genitalia is a relief and has definitely lifted dysphoria - the anxiety and the anger that comes w/th it.

Sex is possible to a certain extent - remembering that I'm only first stage post-op and that insertion of an erectile implant should definitely heighten up the way I can use my new junk;

There is not so much sensation along the penis, it is more like a mental satisfaction as well as the shape and volume that comes into play -

However my partner managed to make it quite alive and slightly rigid, more than i would have expected at that stage of the surgery, flacidity does vary to a different level, and, hot water (like after a soak in a bath..) seems to make it firmer too - 

Penetrative gay sex is not so much conceivable right now, I feel quite keen on waiting for further intervention, 
Oral...well depends on guys, will wait for glanplasty for this one too.

    

10 MONTHS POST-OP - STRAIGHT SEX

hey guys, haven't been writing anything for last couple of months, not so good...
I might be a happier guy now that surgery happened last year, life is still the same uphill struggle !
Am still looking forward to stage 2 , especially for the clitoral covering, this is such a pain in the ..
I am loathing the sensation, really feels like unfinished work, I had to stop wanking because of that -
For years one of my prior issues alongside gender change was having a roof over my head -
I find myself travelling a lot, doing some back n forth between the country I grew up in and Uk just to try and fit somewhere and not be in someone else's place - daily survival is taking a lot of space in my schedule ..... am i trying to justify how come I still haven't been able to put stage 2 in motion?
Probably yes..
Anyway that blog is not about sucking issues like daily living, it's about the surgery and post-op impressions....so...... lets get back to it!

Last post was about gay interaction, which won't be possible until insertion of implants, like i said previously, penetrative gay sex is not that obvious, you need more rigidity -
However, my partner likes my cock and it definitely makes a difference to the way our bodies can relate - 
Still, I am quite obsessed with penetration to be honest, so I had to have a try w/th a woman, before that need to "get inside" would become frustrating and overwhelming to the point of dumbness..
I had not been with a woman for at least 2 years and it wasn't planned , I had no idea it was going to happen just a few days previously -
We spent a couple of nights together and took our time -
She was at that stage where she'd got really bored of regurlar sex w/th cis-guys, so she was quite happy being with a non-cis one and reciprocal experiment  was fine w/th her too -
It took me 3 sessions before I could actually get into her, w/th my knickers still on, for support -
Condoms are an issue if you don't have the XL size (!!!), standard ones are way too tight and i broke a dozen of them , trying to shove it in ...
But ......it does help a little for more firmness in the shaft - 
About firmness , it does vary, my penis goes from flaccid state to more rigid (never to the point of being "hard") and thickness changes too , along w/th tactile sensation -
Some guys choose Not to have any sex between stage 1 and stage 2 , i would easily be that type that prefers not to have sex at all than using a semi-rigid phallus ... still, there is no way I could spend so many months without having a go at it..
but hey thats also why I'm still living by myself , being prior surgery is ....undefinable.... and after that, being "in-between" stages is not a walk in the park neither, especially when you still have to make the cash for it to happen -
Coming back to that girl, we had good sex, respect and affection were present,
 and it's like a healing process to be able to share that with someone that you hardly know -
If I got one advice to give to anyone in such situations, bottom line is to Take your time , there is no need to rush anything, to feel uncomfortable, you're allowed to spend the night with someone without having to "perform" absolutely -
Once that trust is taking place, the body follows too, sex doesnt work if the brain interferes too much..

TIP: To achieve firmness, I used 2 condoms one over the other + a cock ring @ the base of the phallus
2nd TIP: To draw a glanplasty , I cut off the condoms at the head
to make it look more realistic n give it a cool shape